It is an old wives tale that Couples begin swinging because they are bored with their marriages, and Couples who swing need therapy. In fact, it is the alive and adventurous couple with a good relationship who is apt to add swinging to their lifestyle!
Swinging appeals to their sexual, emotional, and recreational needs and fantasies, and the desire to explore these together rather than apart (Swinging vs. Playing Around). Swinging is exciting and fun - a sharing experience, often enhancing emotional and sexual growth.
A good, healthy relationship and open communication are perhaps the first prerequisites for a successful introduction into swinging, and typically the ability of a couple to openly discuss the prospect of swinging is an excellent indication of healthy communication. To most people it is inconceivable that a person could allow his/her partner to engage in recreational sex. To swingers, this is considered an acceptable form of social recreation, because a relationship between a swinging couple is strong enough that each enjoys the enhanced sexual pleasure of his/her partner, and takes gratification from that pleasure, instead of misplaced jealously or concern.
Sexual intercourse, for the swinger in the context of the party situation, is viewed as being purely recreational and does not pose a threat to the integrity or security of the marital relationship.
To a swinger, sexual play at parties is very much in its overall significance like a game of bridge might be for a non-swinging couple. At bridge parties, it is quite common for the participants to select someone elses spouse as a partner - a state of affairs seldom perceived as threatening by those involved. For swingers, taking someone elses spouse as a sexual partner has much the same lack of emotional significance - they pursue sex as a shared leisure activity.
Swingers highly value their friendships with the couples with whom they share the recreational pursuit.
Seeing or visualizing your mate with another person often serves to activate a swingers sexual interest in his/her own mate, and swinger talk enthusiastically about how they arrive home from a party even more charged toward their spouse then when they left.
The expectation of similar feelings in themselves arises even in those who are relatively new to swinging.
Swinging couples do indeed tend to engage in more sexual activity with their own spouses than non-swingers. True people of swinging lifestyles are dedicated family people who have successfully separated sex from love, not love from sex. Sex within the framework of the marriage or committed relationship is a moving, emotional experience of immeasurable beauty and excitement. Sex in a swinging situation is a stimulating, satisfying change-of-pace that satisfies the libido and curiosity. Lifestyle sex is recreational sex with friends; exciting, enjoyable, harmless, and extremely satisfying.
People in swinginglifestyle find no need to cheat or lie to one another. In fact, they share and enjoy each others experiences as if they were an extension of their own.
Swinging lifestyle is a vehicle whereby couples can explore their sexuality and fantasies in a non-threatening environment with like-minded people. The key word is consenting, and both parties must agree that they are mutually interested in what they have to offer each other. Everyone has the freedom to be their own person, find what they most enjoy, and experience it on a social, sensual, and mature adult level.
There are as many varieties of interest as there are people, so there is someone for everyone. Talking with other people is often helpful and sometimes essential. You may find yourself discussing things with another couple that you never dreamed youd talk about with anyone! Listening to a variety of opinions, talking with experienced couples, and fitting all this into your own individuality can help greatly.
No one is ever under any obligation to swing, rather swinging is an individuals prerogative and a disinterested person need merely say No Thank You, which always means no.
No one is being pressured or coerced under any circumstances - free choice is the first rule of our lifestyles etiquette.
To everyone who becomes interested in the swinging way of live and living, the question arises, sooner or later, shall we join a group. This is necessarily a personal decision, and each individual must make up his or her own mind, however there are some consideration which may be helpful to anyone seriously considering swinging.
The first of these is the fact that no binding commitment is involved. If you decide to try swinging and then find that you dont especially care for it, you can withdraw and the matter ends there.
Most people who do decide to visit a swingers group have a thoroughly good time.
For a couple planning to swing, its very important that you discuss your reasons and motivations. Make sure that you have discussed the matter freely, so that there will be no possibility of misunderstanding between you. Be sure this is something you both want to do, and that you both look forward to your first visit as something of an adventure. If only one party wants to swing and the other is uninterested, reluctant, or feels pressured to go along, it will be impossible to swing without complications. Be honest about your feelings and make sure youre in agreement before you decide to take the first step. It is reasonable to hold some reservations, most people do; rather the important issue is that you both are aware of each others feelings and keep the lines of communication open.
Generally, a trial period of visits and getting acquainted is necessary before a final decision is reached.
Approach the situation with the attitude that you are with a group of congenial people, and if something happens beyond casual conversation and good company, its something to be enjoyed, not avoided. The basis of Alternative Lifestyles is friendship - no one expects you to walk through the door and do a strip or head for the bed within five minutes of polite conversation. So relax and enjoy the company and friendship of people like yourself who experience the lifestyle.
You have every right to ask what you can look forward to receiving from the swinging lifestyle. Normally, you can expect to receive sexual excitement and companionship from people who are good candidates for becoming valued friends.
A swingers group has even more to offer than most - it provides for a complete change of attitude, a new type of freedom, and a new type of living that can give you a new lease on life. You can expect that you will acquire a thoroughly healthy attitude toward sexuality, your own body, and a more open relationship with your spouse, both verbal and sexual.
When it is all summed up and you are at the point of decision, you may hesitate because, you are, by inclination and upbringing, a moral person. If this is the case, then chances are better than ever that you will find swinging very much to your liking. The group is filled with people of exactly this background.
If this philosophy appeals to you, you will find that the swingers way of life is well beyond your expectations